Entry #3
status:downloading alot of shawn mcdonald songs!
mood:feeling mixed emotions ; blank.
listening to:simply nothing - shawn mcdonald.
Due to popular demand, i have been forced to write another blog within the same week.
haha okay i joke i joke. Im not quite sure, but i just wanted to blog again because my previous blog that i wrote yesterday; meaning saturday, was not a blog entry that i was satisfied with. i feel as though i like to blog with either a meaning or a reason, i dont like to nor do i want to write blogs where i recount my day.
Today was an interesting day, due to nothing triggering the mood that overtook me today. From running around, climbing in and out of windows, laughing till my stomach hurted and not having a care in the world, i felt as though i was 12 again last night. I'd have to say it was one of the best nights ive had in awhile, even if it was just being plain silly. Recounting the events that occurred the night before made me realise that it was over. Made me realise that i was out of high school and the fact that im 18 and also the fact that it was probably time for me to step back out into the real world and i guess you could say "embrace" whatever may come my way.
It really makes me begin to wonder and to think about how time flies by so quickly. 18 years of my life passed, just like that with a click of the fingers. I look back and question myself if i ever lived life to its fullest potential. Talking to a friend today and by him saying that he lives FOR everyday, living on a day to day basis and taking it as it comes by trying not to take it for granted and now thinking about it once again, i would have to say it makes me envious of him. Now i know i said that envy mightve not been the correct word to use, but the more i think about it, envy is the ONLY word that comes to mind. Living life to the fullest is what i used to say, its what i used to supposedly believe in. Although i did believe in it, i never acted upon it. Again framing myself into the light of being a hypocrite. I guess its true when they say that life is too short and by dwelling on the bad things or things not going your way is definitely not the way to approach things nor is it the way to look at life. Being grateful for what you do HAVE and by not taking it for granted is how you should see things. Seizing opportunity and chances is what makes your life and not letting fear control you. My same friend also said that in the end, you're the one who has to gain everything for yourself.
Reflective moods are quite enjoyable even if my friends and i were being downers today. haha you know who you emo kids are ! Whilst listening to Shawn McDonald, im pretty sure we all felt similar in the sense of thinking about life or thinking about personal issues that we may have come across. At the moment i must say i am inlove with shawn mcdonald's songs and would like to thank my dear friend for introducing us to him ! Never thought that an artist would provoke so many thoughts in a 20 minute car ride. The wonders and greatness of music. So many things are different from what they may seem and i guess thinking about life and its troubles is what makes us learn and is what makes us grow as individuals. Speaking in the perspective of not knowing where life might take us, I sat in the car beginning to think to the extent of wanting life to be and feel so much more than what it is right now. Thinking about the changes i went through and thinking about the troubles i had to overcome to get to where i am today. Although i am still young, i still dont think i lived life to the best i couldve the past 18 years. No, there isnt a sense of regret maybe except for a few past events, but i wouldnt be where i am today and having learnt from my many mistakes. I asked my friend today, if he ever felt as though he wanted to do so many things in life, but not know exactly what he wanted to do.. I feel as though i have lost a sense of direction once again, not knowing the possibilities that exist out there. I feel as though i have fallen short of living to the fullest potential i have.
Where will we be in 10 years time? in 10 years time, most of my friends and i will be about 28 years of age. How far will i have come? What will i become? Who will i be? How will i be? Chi and i spoke of this for at least 20 odd minutes or so, really wondering what would happen 10 years time. How different things would become, how many changes would occur and the phases we would go through. We were even wondering what itd be like in even 1 year time. Its amazing how things can change, even in just several months.
I think this should be all for tonight. Got to save some rambling for the next blog! I shall leave you all with some shaun mcdonald lyrics.
"As I’m standing here, staring into the mirror
See the figure of a man trying to take a stand
And live for something more
Take this life, won’t you change this life
Come and make me whole"
- Marty.
1 comment:
take everyday as it comes .. never worry about tomorrow because tomorrow will take care of itself, you just have to worry about today. In a years time or even 10 years times .. you might not know where you'll end up being at, but you'll be where ever you choose to be and where you aim to be. Everyone chooses and makes their own path, you write your own story, but you just have to work hard for it. Though in the end there is a chance of not making it to where you've been working to.. but just make sure you'll be able to say that you tried and you did your best, as you said everything happens for a reason ..
Love you!
<3
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